Question by FRANCIS: How to handle the situation in office and colleague.?
I had just join a company, and starting to learn the ropes of whats in the company.
and my manager wanted to grow the team, and hired a new staff, someone more experience.
This new colleague of mine, is a person
1) Likes to talk a lot, ask a lot of question about everything under the sun that she comes across eg, work related jobs, lifestyle, entertainment, politics, daily lifestyle issues.
It is a good thing cos’ i gets to learn through the question she ask.
The problem the question she ask i do not know how to answer or not very clear on what to answer.
I have been telling her i do not know the answer or some times my answer is not what she wants.
and she will give a …. ” what this type of things you do not know? ” type of look.
I felt so demoralised and also annoyed at times. but did not show my expression.
2) As she is more sociable than me, the other colleague that i start to know are drawing more towards her. And worst thing we are a team so need to go lunch together with other department people. I could not get close with any of the colleage to find my click. This makes me further down.
3) As she is more experience, my manager told me in front of her that any things do not know can learn from her before going direct to manager. But whenever i have any questions and would like to seek advise, she will answer the question in a unwilling manner or unclear manner. Is clearly not willing to share.
4) She will also request me to help her keeps the laptops to a centralise drawer that we share when she leaves office earlier. ( i would stay a little later then her).
I do not really understand this colleague of mine and also how to handle the situation with her.
Afterall we are a team, and sometime she would offer to keep my laptop or bring some food to share.
I needs some pointers and someone to analyse what kind of situation i am now , what i should do and how to handle the situation and to move on in the company. I wants to build a group of friends ( at least one or two friends in company ) i do not want to work alone.
Best answer:
Answer by Jamie
She thinks that because you are introverted and can’t answer her questions and are (I’m guessing based on your English) an immigrant, that you are stupid.
She doesn’t like the fact that she must work with you. There isn’t much you can do because she is the one who must change.
You could say to her “Look I know that I’m new here and I can’t always answer your questions but since you’re the one with more experience, I would appreciate it if you helped me out.”
If she chooses not to help you, go to your manager and explain that you have asked her for help several times but you find she is often willfully unclear. Say that you have nothing against her but you are after all trying to do your job well and you cannot do this if she is unwilling to help you.
People like her need to be straightened out right away or else she’ll think she can just walk all over you.
What do you think? Answer below!
From the wording in your question, I’m guessing English is not your native language – no insult intended. My point is that if your colleagues are Americans, you could be having a problem with cultural differences. The way American interact culturally at work is very different than – say- the culture you would find in an Asian company.
Assuming this is an American company and your coworkers are Americans, her behavior appears to be somewhat defensive. She appears to see you as an outsider and perhaps even something of a threat. She seems to be trying to get past this, possibly she actually likes your personality.
Americans do not often make close friendships at work. They work more as individuals rather than as a team. So they often do not consider the needs of others on the team.
You will need to express your needs directly – such as wanting to keep you laptop to work later. This will not be seen as rude. Give her more time to get to know you, but go slowly as Americans sometime get suspicious when someone if very friendly at work because they don’t understand that is normal in your culture.
Also, she may not understand when you ask questions because of your accent. For this you should speak up and speak slowly. And Americans expect for you to try to answer your questions yourself before asking someone else. When you ask questions too often they may become annoyed and think you are too lazy to look for the answer yourself. I know this is a difficult point. If you are unsure where to look up the answers yourself, you should ask her to suggest books, manuals, or some other source for information. This is an important point, when you work for Americans and they give you a job to do, they will expect you to figure out what must be done to complete the job as much as possible and not wait for specific instructions or ask questions until you have tried to figure it out for yourself.
Americans are very direct. Sometimes what may sound like an insult or put-down, is not intended to be so.
I wish you luck. I know Americans can sometimes be a puzzle, but you will find most are friendly in their own way.